GEAR – Part 1: Essentials

There are a couple things that any competent musician should not leave home without, unless you want to look like a rank amateur. Here are the essentials:

Drummers:

Drum key – Needed to tune drums. If you don’t know what I mean by tuning drums, maybe you should take up a different instrument.

Stool/Throne – Have something decent to sit on or you’ll end up using a wooden folding chair and it hurts my ass just looking at that shit.

Drum sticks – I know. You probably can’t believe I put this. I can barely believe I did either. You definitely should quit playing drums if you can’t even fucking manage to have sticks around.

Guitarists:

Strings – What happens if you break a string and you don’t have any spares? Either you stop playing or you continue using a toothless version of your guitar. Either way you’re a jackass.

Cables – Have working cables. As many as you can. They fuck up all the time.

Picks – See story below:

I was playing a show where the guitarist of the band playing before us strolled into the club 10 minutes after doors had opened with his guitar slung over his shoulder. He walks up on stage where I’m about to finish setting up my amp and asks if he can use it. I had already offered it up for anyone to use, so I agreed. 10 minutes later he finds me in the bathroom.

“Dude, I hate to bother you, but you don’t have an extra cable, do you?”

He was already using my amp, so I figured it wasn’t too big of a deal. 10 minutes later (5 minutes before they are going to play), I get a tap on the shoulder. I turn, with a confused look on my face, to hear these words:
“Hey man, You got a pick, too?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You don’t even have a pick? Do you want me to play your guitar for you too?” is how I should have responded. But I was too shocked and had already committed my whole rig, so I just pointed out the small pile on the top of my amp and shook my head in disbelief. What a douche.

In conclusion, the most commonly overlooked piece of gear: A TUNER!

Holy fucking hell! There is nothing more grating than the sound of some wanker tuning by ear. It is fucking unbelievable to not own a tuner if you are a guitarist, unless through some idiot savant-like ability you are blessed with perfect pitch. Fuck off. Get a tuner.

Next week: More gear shit. I think.