When you play shows, sometimes you borrow gear to make things run smoother. When you’re recording, you may want to borrow gear to get a specific sound. This is a great practice that can save time and money for everyone involved as long as you don’t fuck with the gear you are sharing. I’ll break it down into some common areas of gear sharing:
Drum Kit: When you’re using someone else's kit, you should be using your own breakables, i.e. snare drum, cymbals, kick pedal (anything that will get a fuck load of wear and tear during the course of a show or recording session). As a side note to the front stage players, don’t jump off the front of the fucking kick drum when it isn’t your drummer’s kit. Use your god-damn brain.
Amps/Speaker cabinets: Please, for the love of all that is holy, check your wattage and ohm settings for compatibility between amps and cabinets. Having shit mismatched can really fuck things up. If you aren’t sure what any of that means, you probably shouldn’t borrow someone’s stuff, ‘cause you might fuck it up. This applies even more so to any people traveling overseas. Read this.
Those are the two most common categories for sharing, but there are a couple others that occur occasionally:
Guitars: I will usually avoid asking to borrow a guitar the way I avoid a used condom on the sidewalk. If you must, then make sure you follow these rules:
*Don’t fuck with the tuning – I don’t mean don’t tune it. In live situations, don’t change the overall tuning of the guitar, ie. Put it in Drop D or tune it a half step down. That shit can fuck with the intonation of the guitar, and it’s not fair to the owner, especially if they are also going to be using it that night. When borrowing for recording, you have a bit more leeway, as long as you give the guitar back to the owner in the shape you received it.
*Don’t beat the guitar up - It’s not yours, asshole.
*If you break a string, replace it.
Snare drums: This is particularly shitty. It is by far the most abused piece of gear on stage, and it’s only a matter of time until that skin breaks. The same rules for borrowing a guitar apply to this:
*Don’t fuck with the tuning – For live shows, little tweaks are ok, any overall tone change is not. Same as above for recording. Just get it back to the owner the way you got it.
*Don’t beat it up more than you have to.
*If you break the skin, replace it.
This last rule actually applies to most every situation of borrowing gear: If you break it, fix it or replace it. I know this sucks. I’ve had to do it. Even if it was random and not necessarily your fault, you are still responsible for any damage while it’s under your care.
Next week: Some more stuff about things.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
GEAR – Part 1: Essentials
There are a couple things that any competent musician should not leave home without, unless you want to look like a rank amateur. Here are the essentials:
Drummers:
Drum key – Needed to tune drums. If you don’t know what I mean by tuning drums, maybe you should take up a different instrument.
Stool/Throne – Have something decent to sit on or you’ll end up using a wooden folding chair and it hurts my ass just looking at that shit.
Drum sticks – I know. You probably can’t believe I put this. I can barely believe I did either. You definitely should quit playing drums if you can’t even fucking manage to have sticks around.
Guitarists:
Strings – What happens if you break a string and you don’t have any spares? Either you stop playing or you continue using a toothless version of your guitar. Either way you’re a jackass.
Cables – Have working cables. As many as you can. They fuck up all the time.
Picks – See story below:
I was playing a show where the guitarist of the band playing before us strolled into the club 10 minutes after doors had opened with his guitar slung over his shoulder. He walks up on stage where I’m about to finish setting up my amp and asks if he can use it. I had already offered it up for anyone to use, so I agreed. 10 minutes later he finds me in the bathroom.
“Dude, I hate to bother you, but you don’t have an extra cable, do you?”
He was already using my amp, so I figured it wasn’t too big of a deal. 10 minutes later (5 minutes before they are going to play), I get a tap on the shoulder. I turn, with a confused look on my face, to hear these words:
“Hey man, You got a pick, too?”
“Are you fucking kidding me? You don’t even have a pick? Do you want me to play your guitar for you too?” is how I should have responded. But I was too shocked and had already committed my whole rig, so I just pointed out the small pile on the top of my amp and shook my head in disbelief. What a douche.
In conclusion, the most commonly overlooked piece of gear: A TUNER!
Holy fucking hell! There is nothing more grating than the sound of some wanker tuning by ear. It is fucking unbelievable to not own a tuner if you are a guitarist, unless through some idiot savant-like ability you are blessed with perfect pitch. Fuck off. Get a tuner.
Next week: More gear shit. I think.
Drummers:
Drum key – Needed to tune drums. If you don’t know what I mean by tuning drums, maybe you should take up a different instrument.
Stool/Throne – Have something decent to sit on or you’ll end up using a wooden folding chair and it hurts my ass just looking at that shit.
Drum sticks – I know. You probably can’t believe I put this. I can barely believe I did either. You definitely should quit playing drums if you can’t even fucking manage to have sticks around.
Guitarists:
Strings – What happens if you break a string and you don’t have any spares? Either you stop playing or you continue using a toothless version of your guitar. Either way you’re a jackass.
Cables – Have working cables. As many as you can. They fuck up all the time.
Picks – See story below:
I was playing a show where the guitarist of the band playing before us strolled into the club 10 minutes after doors had opened with his guitar slung over his shoulder. He walks up on stage where I’m about to finish setting up my amp and asks if he can use it. I had already offered it up for anyone to use, so I agreed. 10 minutes later he finds me in the bathroom.
“Dude, I hate to bother you, but you don’t have an extra cable, do you?”
He was already using my amp, so I figured it wasn’t too big of a deal. 10 minutes later (5 minutes before they are going to play), I get a tap on the shoulder. I turn, with a confused look on my face, to hear these words:
“Hey man, You got a pick, too?”
“Are you fucking kidding me? You don’t even have a pick? Do you want me to play your guitar for you too?” is how I should have responded. But I was too shocked and had already committed my whole rig, so I just pointed out the small pile on the top of my amp and shook my head in disbelief. What a douche.
In conclusion, the most commonly overlooked piece of gear: A TUNER!
Holy fucking hell! There is nothing more grating than the sound of some wanker tuning by ear. It is fucking unbelievable to not own a tuner if you are a guitarist, unless through some idiot savant-like ability you are blessed with perfect pitch. Fuck off. Get a tuner.
Next week: More gear shit. I think.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
STAGE ETIQUETTE – Part 3: On Stage Courtesy
While you’re on stage, you own that real estate. There is a whole lot of shit that can you can do as a part of your performance to get the crowd riled up, or to mellow them out, depending on your style. That being said, there is also a whole lot of shit you can do to piss off the people that are working the show, including the other acts playing with you.
While on stage, never ridicule any other act on the show, especially the headliner. If you’re a musician or performer of any kind, you need to respect what other artists do with their time on stage. You don’t have to like what they do, but you can’t start shit with other performers at the show. You end up looking like the biggest, whiny, ingrate pricks, especially if you’re making fun of someone that’s billed higher than you are.
Along the same lines, don’t make fun of the club, promoter, bar staff or security. Especially security. We’re dealing in reality here, folks, and the reality is security is pretty typically made up of huge steroid-using, gym-going, UFC-watching meatheads, while bands are typically made up of unhealthy, beer-drinking, out-of-shape musicians. Bouncers don’t give a shit about your band, unless they happen to like your music. If you lip off to them enough, you might find yourself getting choke slammed through the front door where the only legal recourse is to sue the promotions company. The company will then never want to book your band again. This may be a viable option if it’s some hack operation that doesn’t know their asses from their elbows, but if it’s a larger company, you definitely don’t want to close that door. So tread carefully around those big lugs.
I could go on, but I’ll state my final pet peeve here. DO NOT PLAY AN ENCORE UNLESS YOU ARE THE HEADLINER, EVER! If you are not the headliner it is not your show. Period. If the crowd is chanting for one more song, you’ve done your job. Leave it at that. There’s nothing wrong with leaving the crowd wanting more. If you play another song, you are saying, “We don’t care that we aren’t headlining. We don’t care that this isn’t our show. We will do what ever we want, even if we make the show run late.” In short, you’re being an asshole.
The only time this is ever ok, (and it’s only kind of ok) is if the headliner themselves are telling you to go back onstage. But beware, if you do this, you still run the risk of getting an earful after the show. I know from experience. You just have more of a leg to stand on because they told you to do it.
That’s it for this week. Next week: Not sure yet. We’ll see. Stop pressuring me.
While on stage, never ridicule any other act on the show, especially the headliner. If you’re a musician or performer of any kind, you need to respect what other artists do with their time on stage. You don’t have to like what they do, but you can’t start shit with other performers at the show. You end up looking like the biggest, whiny, ingrate pricks, especially if you’re making fun of someone that’s billed higher than you are.
Along the same lines, don’t make fun of the club, promoter, bar staff or security. Especially security. We’re dealing in reality here, folks, and the reality is security is pretty typically made up of huge steroid-using, gym-going, UFC-watching meatheads, while bands are typically made up of unhealthy, beer-drinking, out-of-shape musicians. Bouncers don’t give a shit about your band, unless they happen to like your music. If you lip off to them enough, you might find yourself getting choke slammed through the front door where the only legal recourse is to sue the promotions company. The company will then never want to book your band again. This may be a viable option if it’s some hack operation that doesn’t know their asses from their elbows, but if it’s a larger company, you definitely don’t want to close that door. So tread carefully around those big lugs.
I could go on, but I’ll state my final pet peeve here. DO NOT PLAY AN ENCORE UNLESS YOU ARE THE HEADLINER, EVER! If you are not the headliner it is not your show. Period. If the crowd is chanting for one more song, you’ve done your job. Leave it at that. There’s nothing wrong with leaving the crowd wanting more. If you play another song, you are saying, “We don’t care that we aren’t headlining. We don’t care that this isn’t our show. We will do what ever we want, even if we make the show run late.” In short, you’re being an asshole.
The only time this is ever ok, (and it’s only kind of ok) is if the headliner themselves are telling you to go back onstage. But beware, if you do this, you still run the risk of getting an earful after the show. I know from experience. You just have more of a leg to stand on because they told you to do it.
That’s it for this week. Next week: Not sure yet. We’ll see. Stop pressuring me.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
STAGE ETIQUETTE - Part 2: Loading off stage.
This is going to deal with getting your gear off stage. It’s going to be a doozey.
First off, Holy shit: when you are done playing, and the show is not yet done, get your goddamn shit off stage as fast as you fucking can without hurting anyone or damaging anything. There is nothing more aggravating than trying to load on stage while the previous band dicks around getting their stuff off. With that in mind, I have a list of don’ts. Here we go:
DON’T walk off stage and go get a drink or take a piss or have a smoke while the next band is sitting there staring at your stupid shit strewn haphazardly about the stage.
DON’T lean off the front of the stage for 15 minutes talking to some piece of ass that you want to fuck while ignoring the fact that there is a show still going on.
DON’T sit up on stage checking your fucking facebook or twitter account from your shiny new IPhone while everyone else around you is trying to accomplish something useful.
And last but far from least:
DO NOT PUT AWAY YOUR FUCKING GEAR ON STAGE!! Don’t wrap up cables, don’t wipe down your guitar strings, don’t put your effects pedals back into their boxes, and don’t, under any circumstances TEAR DOWN YOUR DRUM KIT!!
I have seen drummers painstakingly take off each individual cymbal, collapse each individual stand, and case each individual drum all while still on stage. In fact, I know a case of this happening where the next band had already fully set up and started line checking while the previous drummer was still putting away his kit.
There is a rule that will simplify all of this: Don’t do anything on stage after you’re done playing other than load your gear off. You can just as easily clean your guitars, tear down your kit, or whatever else you need to do after you’ve gotten everything off stage and out of the way. Actually, that’s not true. It’s EASIER to do all of those things once you’re off stage and out the way.
Obviously, no one expects you to hit your last chord and immediately start chucking your shit off stage. But if you’re good at it, (and as part of being in a band, you should be) then you should be able to do it quickly and efficiently enough that you won’t feel like you’re rushing.
Next week: STAGE ETIQUETTE – Part 3: On stage courtesy.
First off, Holy shit: when you are done playing, and the show is not yet done, get your goddamn shit off stage as fast as you fucking can without hurting anyone or damaging anything. There is nothing more aggravating than trying to load on stage while the previous band dicks around getting their stuff off. With that in mind, I have a list of don’ts. Here we go:
DON’T walk off stage and go get a drink or take a piss or have a smoke while the next band is sitting there staring at your stupid shit strewn haphazardly about the stage.
DON’T lean off the front of the stage for 15 minutes talking to some piece of ass that you want to fuck while ignoring the fact that there is a show still going on.
DON’T sit up on stage checking your fucking facebook or twitter account from your shiny new IPhone while everyone else around you is trying to accomplish something useful.
And last but far from least:
DO NOT PUT AWAY YOUR FUCKING GEAR ON STAGE!! Don’t wrap up cables, don’t wipe down your guitar strings, don’t put your effects pedals back into their boxes, and don’t, under any circumstances TEAR DOWN YOUR DRUM KIT!!
I have seen drummers painstakingly take off each individual cymbal, collapse each individual stand, and case each individual drum all while still on stage. In fact, I know a case of this happening where the next band had already fully set up and started line checking while the previous drummer was still putting away his kit.
There is a rule that will simplify all of this: Don’t do anything on stage after you’re done playing other than load your gear off. You can just as easily clean your guitars, tear down your kit, or whatever else you need to do after you’ve gotten everything off stage and out of the way. Actually, that’s not true. It’s EASIER to do all of those things once you’re off stage and out the way.
Obviously, no one expects you to hit your last chord and immediately start chucking your shit off stage. But if you’re good at it, (and as part of being in a band, you should be) then you should be able to do it quickly and efficiently enough that you won’t feel like you’re rushing.
Next week: STAGE ETIQUETTE – Part 3: On stage courtesy.
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