STAGE ETIQUETTE - Part 2: Loading off stage.

This is going to deal with getting your gear off stage. It’s going to be a doozey.

First off, Holy shit: when you are done playing, and the show is not yet done, get your goddamn shit off stage as fast as you fucking can without hurting anyone or damaging anything. There is nothing more aggravating than trying to load on stage while the previous band dicks around getting their stuff off. With that in mind, I have a list of don’ts. Here we go:

DON’T walk off stage and go get a drink or take a piss or have a smoke while the next band is sitting there staring at your stupid shit strewn haphazardly about the stage.

DON’T lean off the front of the stage for 15 minutes talking to some piece of ass that you want to fuck while ignoring the fact that there is a show still going on.

DON’T sit up on stage checking your fucking facebook or twitter account from your shiny new IPhone while everyone else around you is trying to accomplish something useful.

And last but far from least:

DO NOT PUT AWAY YOUR FUCKING GEAR ON STAGE!! Don’t wrap up cables, don’t wipe down your guitar strings, don’t put your effects pedals back into their boxes, and don’t, under any circumstances TEAR DOWN YOUR DRUM KIT!!

I have seen drummers painstakingly take off each individual cymbal, collapse each individual stand, and case each individual drum all while still on stage. In fact, I know a case of this happening where the next band had already fully set up and started line checking while the previous drummer was still putting away his kit.

There is a rule that will simplify all of this: Don’t do anything on stage after you’re done playing other than load your gear off. You can just as easily clean your guitars, tear down your kit, or whatever else you need to do after you’ve gotten everything off stage and out of the way. Actually, that’s not true. It’s EASIER to do all of those things once you’re off stage and out the way.

Obviously, no one expects you to hit your last chord and immediately start chucking your shit off stage. But if you’re good at it, (and as part of being in a band, you should be) then you should be able to do it quickly and efficiently enough that you won’t feel like you’re rushing.

Next week: STAGE ETIQUETTE – Part 3: On stage courtesy.